I received this comment yesterday on my post “50 things you should not say to autism parents” and I wanted to address it.
“First and Foremost..You are a Parent of a Child!!!!The Child is always first....same with the Parent...It is not the Autism Parent or the Autistic Child.....Please correct...” – Anonymous
Thank you so much for reading my blog and commenting with your concern. I too understand this issue and find it very important that my daughter is looked at as wonderful, unique Lexi. Not as a disorder. I have corrected people on occasion that she is not autistic she has autism.
However, now that I am writing about autism sometimes I have found it impossible to write clearly without using the words “autistic” or “autism parent.” I have rewritten sentences dozens of times eventually giving into the shorter descriptive for ease of reading and clarity sake. As I have read the writings of prominent autism bloggers and writers I have found that they also use “autistic” and “autism parent” in their writing.
So although I really appreciate your passion for the individual first perspective, sometimes I will not follow this ideology. I am sorry if I cause offense because I have no intention of doing so. I understand if you choose not to read my blog because of this.
Once again, thank you for your comment. You are obviously a passionate advocate for the autism community.
With gratitude,
Christine
Update 4/10/12 - I've written an additional blog post about people first language you can find here: Autism Semantics.
Update 4/10/12 - I've written an additional blog post about people first language you can find here: Autism Semantics.
While your reasoning behind using this shorter, easier verbiage makes sense, it is all about awareness with Autism. Using terms such as "Autism Parent" or "Autistic" are going to spread too and people are going to think it is appropriate to speak in a way that implies that Autism is all that a person is about. People first language needs to be a priority when working toward make strides in helping others understand Autism.
ReplyDeleteOk, I just got home from my sons IEP, so I'm in a bit of fight or flight mode anyway, but when someone tells me that I am wrong to call my son autistic really bugs me. I say, "my blue eyed son" why should saying "my autistic son" be any different? In my eyes, autism is just one other characteristic of my son, the same as his blue eyes or brown hair. I guess I don't understand why putting the autism first defines the person. Now, if you as a parent feel that it is important to you and your child to say, "my child with autism" that is great, and please ask others to do so, also. But please PLEASE, do not tell me that I have to define my child by your standards.
ReplyDeleteI do not have a child with autism but I feel very strongly about this issue. I completely agree with the above comment. If you don't want someone to call your child autistic, you have every right, but the writer of this blog has every right to write the way she sees fit. It's her blog and she obviously doesn't mean any disrespect whatsoever. It's clear that she loves her child and wants to build awareness. I'm so tired of the "PC" way to say everything these days. People take everything way too far. Like the person stated above, her child has blue eyes and autism. Those are both qualities about him. Every person is different with hundreds of qualities and not a single one completely defines them. My son has a deformed hand shaped like a lobster claw. He also has blue eyes and blond hair and a lisp. He sucks his thumb, carries a blanket and thinks the word fart is the funniest word in the English language. He himself calls his hand his freak hand. He thinks that is the coolest thing to call it. I get the worst looks and comments about that when people hear us call it that. And I come right back with that is the word he chose and until he wants to call it something else that is what we will refer to it as. If it doesn't offend him then it's none of your business. So to the writer of this blog this is what I say to you: People are people and they all have something to say. It's clear you are an excellent parent who has gone above and beyond not only to learn what you can about your child and their condition and how to make life for him/her the best it can be with love and understanding and compassion, but you have also taken the initiative to educate and help others as well. Thank you. And if anyone gives you crap for it tell them to mind their own!
DeleteThank you so much for your comment! I completely agree... so much so I used your comment in a new blog post I wrote. You can find it here.
Deletehttp://www.autism-island.com/2012/04/autism-semantics.html
Thank you and I hope your sons IEP went well. They are rough!
As a mother of 2 boys both with autism it just kills me that there is even a debate over semantics! I personally say that my son or sons are autistic. No matter how you say it, your child is still your child and his struggles are still his struggles and personally, I think I have enough fighting to do without getting into something so meaningless as how it is worded!
ReplyDeleteBecause I find this an interesting topic I wrote another post about it you can find here: http://www.autism-island.com/2012/04/autism-semantics.html
ReplyDeleteMaybe I am wayyyyyyyy out of line here, but as a former special education teacher, I have always wondered about this debate as well. I think pointing it out and arguing over it just does the opposite - by drawing even more attention to the fact that the child has autism, and indirectly, implying that the autism is WHO he is. I personally, am diabetic. It doesn't bother me whether people call me a diabetic girl or a girl with diabetes. It is what it is.
ReplyDelete